(as far as I remember) every movie I watched this year

I watched a lot of movies this year. I can't recommend watching this many movies, but I am a monster. 

These are listened within the order I watched them this year.

Out of all the movies I watched, I watched the most from director Mira Nair (3 movies)

American films: 79

French films: 10

Russian films: 1 

Danish films:3

Italian films: 2

Japanese films: 3

Chinese movies: 2

Korean films: 1

Tibetan movies: 1

Polish films: 1

My favorite movie I watched: Troll 2 (1990)

(1/3/18) Kung Fu Hustle (2004), Stephen Chow

(1/4/18) Tharlo (2016), Pema Tseden

(1/4/18) Conan the Barbarian (1982), John Milius

(1/11/18) They Shoot Horses, Don’t They? (1969), Sydney Pollack

(1/11/18) The Duellists (1977), Ridley Scott

(1/16/18) The Honeymoon Killers (1970), Leonard Kastle

(1/23/18) Paterson (2017), Jim Jarmusch

(1/25/18) Mon Oncle (1958), Jacques Tati

(1/30/18) OSS 117 : Le Caire, nid d'espions (OSS 117: Cairo, Nest of Spies (2006), Michael Hazanavicius

(1/31/18) The Swimmer (1968), Frank Perry

(1/31/18) Princess Bride (!987), Rob Reiner

(2/1/18) Enthusiasm: The Symphony of Donbass (1930), Dziga Vertov

(2/5/18) Nanook of the North (1922), Robert J. Flaherty

(2/5/18) Emma (1996), Douglas McGrath

(2/8/18) Danton (1983), Andrzej Wajda

(2/20/18) Les Parapluies de Cherbourg (1964), Jacques Demy

(2/27/18) Dancer in the Dark (2000), Lars von Trier

(3/1/18) Jules et Jim (1962), Francois Truffaut

(3/6/18) Ordinary People (1980), Robert Redford

(3/20/18) La Jetée (1962), Chris Marker

(3/25/18) Donnie Darko (2001), Richard Kelly

(3/29/18) Scarface (1932), Howard Hawks

(4/2/18) Elephant (2003), Gus Van Sant

(4/3/18) Donnie Darko Director’s Cut, (2004), Richard Kelly

(4/4/18) The Maltese Falcon (1941), John Huston

(4/7/18) Half Baked (1998), Tamra Davis

(4/10/18) The Namesake (2006), Mira Nair

(4/13/18) Isle of Dogs (2018), Wes Anderson

(4/14/18) Queen of Katwe (2016), Mira Nair

(4/16/18) La Haine [The Hate] (1995), Mathieu Kassovitz

(4/17/18) The Perez Family (1995), Mira Nair

this following movies i'm not quite sure when i watched

Maltese Falcon (1941), John Huston 

The Running Man (1987), Paul Michael Glaser

Shape of Water (2017), Guillermo del Toro

Heat (1995), Michael Mann

Zhou Yu’s Train (2002), Zhou Sun

Judex (1963), Georges Franju

Anytown, USA (2005), Kristian Fraga

I, Tonya (2017), Craig Gillespie

sometime between (11/17-4/18) Cool Runnings (1993), Jon Turteltaub

(5/13/18) Guardians of the Galaxy 2 (2017), James Gunn

(5/15/18) Jagten [The Hunt] (2013), Thomas Vinterberg

(8/14/18) The Rider (2017), Chloé Zhao

(8/17/18) My Neighbor Totoro (1988), Hayao Miyazaki

(8/18/18) Porco Rosso (1992), Hayao Miyazaki

(8/18/18) Die Hard (1988), John McTiernan

(8/21/18) Crazy, Rich Asians (2018), Jon M. Chu

(9/2/18) Thoroughbreds (2017), Cory Finley

(9/2/18) The Pass (2016), Ben A. Williams

(9/10/18) The Package (2018), Jake Szymanski

(9/17/18) Hereditary (2018), Ari Aster

(9/19/18) Private Parts (1997), Betty Thomas

(9/19/18) Kingpin (1996), Bobby Farrelly, Peter Farrelly

(9/22/18) The Addiction (1995), Abel Ferrara

(9/23/18) The Cemetery Man (1994), Michele Soavi

(9/25/18) Sling Blade (1996), Billy Bob Thorton

(9/29/18) The Endless (2017), Justin Benson, Aaron Moorhead

(9/30/18) Brick (2005), Rian Johnson

(10/3/18) Monkey Shines (1988), Michael Stuart

(10/7/18) Diabel [The Devil] (1972), Andrzej Żuławski

(10/9/18) It Comes at Night (2017), Trey Edward Shults

(10/10/18) A Quiet Place (2018), John Krasinski

(10/11/18) Adaptation. (2002), Spike Jonze

(10/12/18) Lake Mungo (2008), Joel Anderson

(10/12/18) Pet Semetary (1989), Mary Lambert

(10/13/18)Le ravissement de Frank N. Stein (1982), Georges Schwizgebel

(10/13/18) The Wailing (2016), Na Hong-jin

(10/13/18) mother ! (2018), Darren Aronofsky

(10/14/18) Office Space (1999), Mike Judge

(10/20/18) Blade (1998), Stephen Norrington

(10/23/18) Hallloween (2018), David Gordon Green

(10/24/18) Blade II (2002), Guillermo del Toro

(10/25/18) Rat Pfink a Go Go (1966), Ray Dennis Steckler

Troll 2 (1990), Claudio Fragasso

(10/26/18) Troll (1986), John Carl Buechler

(10/27/18) All That Heaven Allows (1955), Douglas Sirk

(10/31/18) Moonstruck (1987), Norman Jewison

(11/1/18) Blood Feast (1963), Herschell Gordon Lewis

(11/1/18) Equinox (1970), Dennis Muren, Jack Woods

(11/4/18) Mamma Mia 2! Here We Go Again (2018), Ol Parker

(11/6/18) Bohemian Rhapsody (2018), Bryan Singer

(11/8/18) The Final Member, (2012) Zach Math, Jonah Bekhor

(11/10/18) Goldeneye (1995), Martin Campbell

(11/12/18) The Outlaw King, (2018), David Mackenzie

(11/22/18) Funny People (2009), Judd Apatow

(11/24/18) Onibaba (1964), Kaneto Shindo

(11/26/18) Babette’s Feast (1987), Gabriel Axel

(11/28/18) The Holiday Calendar (2018), Bradley Walsh

(11/29/18) Mr. Mom (1983), Stan Dragoti

(11/30/18) Seven (1995), David Fincher

(11/30/18) Undercover Brother (2002), Malcolm D. Lee

(12/1/18) Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald (2018), David Yates

(12/2/18) The Rooftop Christmas Tree (2016), David Winning 

(12/3/18) Jeux interdits [Forbidden Games] (1952), René Clément

(12/5/18) A Christmas Prince (2017), Alex Zamm

                It Happened One Night (1934), Frank Capra

(12/7/18) Emmet Otter’s Jug Band Christmas (1977), Jim Henson

(12/15/18) Beaches (1988), Garry Marshall

(12/21/18) Cobra (1986), George P. Cosmatos

(12/23/18) Jingle All the Way (1996), Brian Levant

(12/25/18) How The Grinch Stole Christmas (2000), Ron Howard

(12/25/18) Christmas with the Kranks (2004), Joe Roth

(12/26/18) Bumblebee (2018), Travis Knight 

(12/30/18) Cliffhanger (1993), Renny Harlin 

12/30/18 - new year's eve eve

i like the smell of my own stank

i like to pick my belly button and smell it

do you?

lately i've been so bad at completing things i can't even finish a thought

i'm living in the city now

people are awake all times of day and night

with all the movement, it's hard to stay still

i'm trying to write more but my head is filled with images

maybe i can write a story like a photo album

i'm reading Ethan Frome for the fifth-ish time in the life

there's no snow in Phoenix

maybe i can write a story like Ethan Frome but during the Phoenician summer

that'd be annoying lol


we established wifi a couple days ago

i can't say i've missed it but it makes the time go by quicker

i hate Youtube

i've disabled it from my phone for the fifth time in my life

i hope this will be a permanent change
 what have you been listening to?

i love this song:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Edthfw5Pbxk
 " 911/911/911/can't trust them"


as of today, i've mostly looked at my phone

WOWOWOWOWOW

i also finished the movie Cliffhanger (1993)
  pretty mediocre inna inoffensive way ifyaknowwhatimean

other than that i've been laying on the floor

because i like to

i recommend sleeping on a hardwood floor

it's really good for your back

i'm disturbed



i emailed my friend

i wished him well online






i'll be surviving on holiday ham for a while

how are you doing?




Here's an excerpt from a poem i wrote last week:

I spend too much time wondering my apartment

returning from my bed to the mirror and back to bed

I know if I go outside, I’ll get nothing done

I’m trying to stay down

My walls are white and sheets are red

Fresh air is a must

Peace and quiet is a must

The ever-acceralterating commotion of humans is a must

Lunch time means it’s quiet time

the apartments are still and nothing is happening

this is weird and interesting, but only to me

As far as I know, I’m the only person left in the world

11/24/18

it's been a week since my last post.
it's not like anything has been worth saying.
thanksgiving was thursday.
i made brussells sprouts.
who is this brussell and why does he have all these sprouts?
i have fallen in love with roasted brussells sprouts.

that's not worth noting.
unfortunately i have consumed copious amounts of beers.
too copious.
beer baby.
i'm hungry and want fast food.
beer makes you really hate yourself before, during, and after.

i'm drinking a Crème brûlée coffee.
it's not that good.
we are watching 'to catch a predator' in the living room.
i feel like a horrible person while watching it but i guess
i'm not as horrible as the pieces of shit on the show.
one guys username was meatrocket8

i woke up with a beer in hand.
slowly, i'm feeling better as the day goes on.
i want to write a book about a helicopter.
the helicopter would fly over the desert
doing what he loves
flying

i'm writing in the company of other people.
this is not something that i do normally but i think
as a person who spends more time with people
than by myself, that i need to learn to be more comfortable
writing in this mode. i hate that i'm around people always.
it's exhausting and i still feel alone.

i'm mostly being dramatic, but i do feel these ways sometimes.
i'm sure we all do.
if you don't, i wish you nothing but happiness.
i just ate a tomato we bought from the farmer's market.
all i think about is food and writing.
that's fucked up.

we've been watching 'to catch a predator' for an hour and a half.
we're watching bollywood versions of pop songs.
i feel like a better person.
pain is beauty.
ariana grande knows.
i haven't stepped outside today and i odn't know if i plan to.

i'm grossly aware of word count.
it's morose.
probably has something to do with my penis.
fucking dick.
i'm doing nothing today.
fuck it.

noise noise noise noise noise noise noise
this alan clarke movie
goddamn they're just slaughtering people
*wink*
ABCD this is what i'm reducing myself to
i'm distracted by everything.
people distract me and honestly i really love people

i have consistency in my periods
period.
DYLAN GRAY is an anagram for DARYL YANG,
among others, but i can't give away all my secrets.
yes i can, but i just feel like moving on.
i love you, please believe me i love you.

i wish i knew better ways to show people
the best i can imagine is to listen better
and do things for people without expecting anything in return
like writing people a poem.
this is why i write to you these poems
to give beauty to the world.

what is a soul?
i'm trying to show you, bleeding in my hands
this is me and i am you and we are nothing without each other
but a lonely sack of skin floating in space
without love, the world fucking sucks
this is me trying to tell you i love you

even though i fucking suck at doing so
i fucking suck so much and i feel like shit always
and sometimes i say things that sound conceited and dickish
and not funny and annoying and immature and i am all those things.
but this is the best i got.
sorry for sounding so retarded.

sorry for saying 'retarded'.
i want to hear what you have to say.
please.
i don't know if i'm speaking to you or myself now.
i don't know if anyone can hear me anyway.
and that's okay.
everything's okay.

there's no beauty in this.
i want to make people cry.
that is a little and selfish thing of me.
imagine crying overwhelming with emotions.
that sounds beautiful.
to let it all go.

being alone and crying are moments you'll never forget.
i recommend it for those who never have.
if you never have, i'm sorry.
i can't imagine not wanting to cry all the time.
crying is not limited to sadness.
crying is because you feel so much that your body can't hold it.

sometimes when i'm with family, i'll feel so much happiness
and love, seeing the passing of time within my brothers,
how we all grow old together, all at once,
i'll pretend to go to the bathroom and collapse to the ground sobbing
i don't want anyone to worry about me.
i'll dry my eyes and walk out having cleansed my heart.


thanks for reading (you)

11/18/18

i'm sitting on my bed.
i'm in a red hoodie.
my head is in the hood of the hoodie.
i feel safe, my head in the hoodie.
it is still early morning.
yesterday was a full day of drinking.
nothing else but drinking.
went to the bank, then it was drink drink drink.
today i feel bad but not sick.
i feel damaged.
i felt like i should've ran or exercised but instead i showered
this morning.
now my skin is clean and smooth and soft inside this hoodie.
in one of my dreams last night
i was in a sea of pink.
pink waves took my ashore and i was late for school.
i really liked that dream.
i like the mornings too.
this is the very least i can do for myself.
have the most of a day.
i'm drinking water.
i've had water periodically throughout the night,
waking up just for water.
i will google 'ways to reverse the effects of an all-day bender'
my results will be unfruitful.
i will make chorizo tacos for breakfast if i do.
i might just cry all day instead.
haha not really.
i'm mistaking calmness for somberness.
on a scale of 1 to 10: happiness
i'm somewhere between a 6 and 7.
which is passing, according to school and Rotten Tomatoes.
i don't want coffee because i want to feel somnolent.
i will put on music on the stereo.
i don't have a stereo, i have a laptop.
i wanted to create rhythm.
literature = music
(no it doesn't and don't let them tell you otherwise
they are trying to trick you
why exactly, i don't know
that's why i'm on guard).
i'm lying to you too though.
i've done other things this morning.
i stood outside in the desert cool.
i stared out my window for at least 10 minutes.
i'm wearing cuffed sweatpants.
the red hoodie:
i can't lie about that.
if i wasn't wearing a red hoodie
after i said i was wearing my red hoodie
my red hoodie
than i wouldn't be any better than a liar, would i?
you thought i'd be more severe.
these are the games i play.
i'm trying to keep myself entertained with life.
life is excruciatingly boring.
i mean that in all reverence.
imagine life completely entertained.
heaven must be do exhausting.
boredom is piety.
i'm bored as hell right now.
i've watched the sun brighten across my screen.
that's how bored i am.
i love it.

update on seafood ramen

the addition of fish sauce livened the seafood ramen. it was delicious.

10/29/2018

it's already the 29th of october.

it's already 2:54.

i think i have gingivitis.

i ate an italian sandwich on focaccia bread and got a piece of mortadello stuck in between my teeth. i flossed it out and now my gums are bleeding badly.

a list of culprits, according to WebMD:

• gingivitis
• scurvy
• Type 1 diabetes
• Type 2 diabetes
• Vitamin K deficiency
• leukemia

things are looking grim.

currently, still unemployed. i do some Dj work as a trivia show host for a restaurant in Tempe. they pay me $50, plus up to $25 on anything on the menu. so i'm not starving.

i'm listening to the new ty segall album.

ty segall has released 4 albums this year.

i've never even written a song, let alone 4 albums just this year. if i made a song, i would want it to be something that could be played in the background and people can talk or read a book or take a nap to it. i like music like that. as furniture, as satie would say.

i have a terrible scratch on my thigh.

surprisingly have not consumed any caffeine today.

did smoke some weed, though.

a given.

i watched a total of 3 food videos today. i do not say this proudly. a sushi chef made a burger. a recipe for chocolate chip and pecan scones. a guide to hollywood's restaurant scene. these were not productive activities. i remember one time when i was 14 i made scones and they turned out way too floury and mom made fun of them and how bad they were. i haven't made scones since.

i might make some scones though.

that recipe looked good.

i made blueberry scones when i first attempted.

i ate all of them because no one else would.

i didn't think they were that bad.

scones are kinda stupid.

but i kinda like scones.

they're endearing.

like a grandma.

scones are grandmothers in pastry form.

anyway

i'm thinking ahead to other things.

like how i should research 'the business of television' and 'psychology'.

these will be things to prepare me for the future.

i'm starting a job as an associate producer for a television show.

hopefully it goes well.

i don't know what i'll be doing but it will be an experience regardless of how it goes.

other than that, i have nothing else to look forward to this week other than trivia, which will be tonight. i hope they have discounted drinks. i will spend $25 on happy hour margaritas and host a trivia show. not really. about the marg-part. i will host though. and probably buy at least a drink, since they're buying. i don't really like it but it's my only source of income at the moment so, in the words of tommy pickle, "a baby's gotta do what a baby's gotta do."

speaking of babies, i'm looking at the babygirl (anna) now.

she is editing videos for her job and being a higher functioning adult than i am right now. probably ever will be.

i drank an orangina soda today.

probably not the best for my gingivitis.

that ty segall album finished.

i liked it.

i'm going to listen to another one of his albums.

one from this year.

last night anna and i were watching moonstruck (1987). it's amazing how even from the beginning nicolas cage is out of his fucking mind with every character he plays. he is the greatest living actor working today. i mean that. i think watching that movie subconsciously made me hungry for an italian sandwich.

i sat in the shower feeling fucked and sorry for myself.

after 5 minutes, i felt differently. a lil better i think.

i tried airdrying in the arizona sun but it was too mild of a day.

i'm wearing pants right now.

i wore pants yesterday.

there's a harden skin tag on the immediate inside of my nostril. last two times i messed with it, thinking it was a tough booger or something, i ripped it out and started to bleed a lot. so i'm not going to do that this time.

i wrote a note in my phone saying 'morning shit'.

i wrote that in references to a potential beginning to a poetry project.

you see where i'm going.

i don't feel fucked really.

i'm drinking water.

this ty segall album is very enjoyable writing music. in it, he goes by the alias lag el sty. i wonder if that is referring to a sty like on your skin or a pigpen. i think what's in my nose, actually, is a sty.

thanks ty segall.

i mean, lag el sty.

i had a tag 'tom brady nudes' in one of my blog posts that has way more views than any other of my posts. i think that is what the people want. have to cater to what the people want.

or what i want?

whatever.

i'm going to drink even more water today.

i don't want to host trivia tonight.

i want to stay home, get high, watch movies with my babygirl and eat the leftover seafood ramen we made for dinner last night, which was good, but i think can be improved with the addition of some fish sauce.

i will report back on the findings

i promise.

i like the sound of a lazy, lumbering bass guitar.

like a trudging toad.

or a cool video game baddie in a cave level.

i wonder what bad guys do all day when there's no hero around.

just be bad?

like sit around with their buddies and frown and cross their arms around a fire. thinking mean thoughts. being generally upset and mischievous.

i can dig it.

i do that already and don't even get paid.

at least henchmen probably earn salary.

i talked to my mom and sent her a snapchat of the dogs' halloween customs.

this was the highlight of my day. and i'm not saying i've had a bad day either. it's not even 4 pm yet. i'm just saying, it's a highlight.

stupid idiot.

horseback (poem)

I want to ride a horse

on a beach

shirtless

in the twilight

feeling magical

but

I need to learn to ride

a horse first

someday