10/29/2018


it's already the 29th of october.

it's already 2:54.

i think i have gingivitis.

i ate an italian sandwich on focaccia bread and got a piece of mortadello stuck in between my teeth. i flossed it out and now my gums are bleeding badly.

a list of culprits, according to WebMD:

  • gingivitis
  • scurvy
  • Type 1 diabetes
  • Type 2 diabetes
  • Vitamin K deficiency
  • leukemia

things are looking grim.

currently, still unemployed. i do some Dj work as a trivia show host for a restaurant in Tempe. they pay me $50, plus up to $25 on anything on the menu. so i'm not starving.

i'm listening to the new ty segall album.

ty segall has released 4 albums this year.

i've never even written a song, let alone 4 albums just this year. if i made a song, i would want it to be something that could be played in the background and people can talk or read a book or take a nap to it. i like music like that. as furniture, as satie would say.

i have a terrible scratch on my thigh.

surprisingly have not consumed any caffeine today.

did smoke some weed, though.

a given.

i watched a total of 3 food videos today. i do not say this proudly. a sushi chef made a burger. a recipe for chocolate chip and pecan scones. a guide to hollywood's restaurant scene. these were not productive activities. i remember one time when i was 14 i made scones and they turned out way too floury and mom made fun of them and how bad they were. i haven't made scones since.

i might make some scones though.

that recipe looked good.

i made blueberry scones when i first attempted.

i ate all of them because no one else would.

i didn't think they were that bad.

scones are kinda stupid.

but i kinda like scones.

they're endearing.

like a grandma.

scones are grandmothers in pastry form.

anyway

i'm thinking ahead to other things.

like how i should research 'the business of television' and 'psychology'.

these will be things to prepare me for the future.

i'm starting a job as an associate producer for a television show.

hopefully it goes well.

i don't know what i'll be doing but it will be an experience regardless of how it goes.

other than that, i have nothing else to look forward to this week other than trivia, which will be tonight. i hope they have discounted drinks. i will spend $25 on happy hour margaritas and host a trivia show. not really. about the marg-part. i will host though. and probably buy at least a drink, since they're buying. i don't really like it but it's my only source of income at the moment so, in the words of tommy pickle, "a baby's gotta do what a baby's gotta do."

speaking of babies, i'm looking at the babygirl (anna) now.

she is editing videos for her job and being a higher functioning adult than i am right now. probably ever will be.

i drank an orangina soda today.

probably not the best for my gingivitis.

that ty segall album finished.

i liked it.

i'm going to listen to another one of his albums.

one from this year.

last night anna and i were watching moonstruck (1987). it's amazing how even from the beginning nicolas cage is out of his fucking mind with every character he plays. he is the greatest living actor working today. i mean that. i think watching that movie subconsciously made me hungry for an italian sandwich.

i sat in the shower feeling fucked and sorry for myself.

after 5 minutes, i felt differently. a lil better i think.

i tried airdrying in the arizona sun but it was too mild of a day.

i'm wearing pants right now.

i wore pants yesterday.

there's a harden skin tag on the immediate inside of my nostril. last two times i messed with it, thinking it was a tough booger or something, i ripped it out and started to bleed a lot. so i'm not going to do that this time.

i wrote a note in my phone saying 'morning shit'.

i wrote that in references to a potential beginning to a poetry project.

you see where i'm going.

i don't feel fucked really.

i'm drinking water.

this ty segall album is very enjoyable writing music. in it, he goes by the alias lag el sty. i wonder if that is referring to a sty like on your skin or a pigpen. i think what's in my nose, actually, is a sty.

thanks ty segall.

i mean, lag el sty.

i had a tag 'tom brady nudes' in one of my blog posts that has way more views than any other of my posts. i think that is what the people want. have to cater to what the people want.

or what i want?

whatever.

i'm going to drink even more water today.

i don't want to host trivia tonight.

i want to stay home, get high, watch movies with my babygirl and eat the leftover seafood ramen we made for dinner last night, which was good, but i think can be improved with the addition of some fish sauce.

i will report back on the findings

i promise.

i like the sound of a lazy, lumbering bass guitar.

like a trudging toad.

or a cool video game baddie in a cave level.

i wonder what bad guys do all day when there's no hero around.

just be bad?

like sit around with their buddies and frown and cross their arms around a fire. thinking mean thoughts. being generally upset and mischievous.

i can dig it.

i do that already and don't even get paid.

at least henchmen probably earn salary.

i talked to my mom and sent her a snapchat of the dogs' halloween customs.

this was the highlight of my day. and i'm not saying i've had a bad day either. it's not even 4 pm yet. i'm just saying, it's a highlight.

stupid idiot.

horseback (poem)



I want to ride a horse
on a beach
shirtless
in the twilight
feeling magical

but
I need to learn to ride
a horse first




someday

6 graphic novels

i've been reading a lot lately. which is good. healthy. i'm being a healthy person. at least i think. of the things i've read, according to genre, i might have read more graphic novels than actual novels. i think. (i looked through my journal, actually this is not the case: i've read more novellas). whatever. i want to share with you guys 6 graphic novels i've read in the past 3 months, all of which i reccomend to the fullest and you should take time to read. most of these i read in a single setting and can be completed in less than an hour. i love reading them right before i go to bed. it's like watching a movie without the blue-light from your laptop monitor causing early Alzheimer's. the first book i'll be starting with:



Dressing (2015), Michael DeForge [Koyama Press]

this book is a little fuzzy to me now. i remember it being quite surreal and strange. many of the characters in this book take on different forms, abstracting their bodies into inter-dimensional shapes. the book is a handful of stories, each delving into the fluidity of our environments and our being. the first story was one of this blob slowly transforming into another type of blob, and the ways in which that transformation effects those it knows around it. it reminded me of dying, or what i imagine could be dying. many of the other tales deal in themes like this and are similarly dark and cosmic. a cosmic comic. i'll leave it at that.







Beautiful Darkness (2014), Fabren Vehlmann, Kerascoët (trans. by Helge Dascher) [Drawn and Quarterly]

this one i've known for a while because the cover art always drew me to it. having read it, the cover now did not prepare me for what was inside. this is Alice in Wonderland meets The Borrowers meets Edgar Allen Poe. the beginning shows all these little people who crawl out of the decaying corpse of a little girl. it's a fairy-tale that doesn't shy away from death. not only does it not shy away from it, it passes it off absurdity, an aside to a larger narrative. this book made me physically react from the brutality of the story, and some of the images in here i will never forget. an excellent read for those how like their fairy-tales a darker shade of Gothic.





Travel (2008), Yuichi Yokoyama [PictureBox]

this book is crazy. it's told in only images. no dialogue. enter 3 men onto a train. no one knows their intentions, not even the reader. we watch as these characters make their way to the back of the train, exchanging looks with the frighteningly expressionless passengers aboard for the ride. the lack any sort of direction gives this book the intensity of a great thriller. the introduction of the book relates it to the Alfred Hitchcock movie Strangers on a Train (1951). there's something sinister that is not being told, and as a reader we wait for the tension to release somehow. the notion of the train ride means eventually that the ride will at some point end. the question of when though makes this an exciting read. please find yourself a copy of this book. it's one of the most cinematic experiences i've had outside of movies.



Everything is Flammable (2017), Gabrielle Bell [Uncivilized Books]

i loved this book. this graphic memoir (a form i really enjoy) tells the tale of the author after her mother, living across the country on the West Coast, loses her house to a fire and how this moment grows and deepens the relationship between the two. it's told in vignettes, like little mini-chapters. it's very slice of life but still Gabrielle manages to synthesize those fragmentary bits of humanity during even a menial task of picking out a new stove. it's also delves into the duty of being an author, about taking part in other's suffering for the sake of art, and whether we do this for unselfish reasons or for our own personal gain and experience. a very full, memorizing, and satisfying book. it will make you want to call up your mother and tell her you love them.





Heavy-Handed (2018), Chelsea Martin [PSA Press]


i love the work of Chelsea Martin. many of these works were originally published on TheRumpus.com in 2013, and has just now been released physically. i bought my copy from her directly during a recent crisis where she, allegedly, needed her phone bill paid and was selling copies of this book for $10 via Venmo. despite the bargain, this book reads similarly to Everything is Flammable, but in even more miniature form. i like the way she shows panels of people's shoes or hands and the small details of human interaction that go unnoticed. this book is about communication and miscommunication, and the lack of difference between the two. the printing of this book is very well done and nicely renders her hand-painted art. highly recommend this and all of Martin's work.




Mooncop (2016), Tom Gauld [Drawn and Quarterly]


a very cute and humble story about a cop on the moon. nothing happens on the moon. there's no crime. mooncop goes around looking for meaning in his (literally) empty life, occupying it in the meantime with whatever random problem needs solved on the moon, like helping an elderly resident find her dog. a sad, quiet read, but undeniable charming and uplifting by the end (if you read it as such). the emptiness of the setting gives the quality an floating through space, but the quirky style of the book makes it so that you never feel overwhelmed by the expansiveness of it all. read right before bed, like i did, to keep your mind thinking about what it means to be happy as you drift off into the stars.








[Honorable Mention: My Favorite Things is Monsters (2017), Emil Ferris [Fantagraphics] -  i had to read this for a horror movie class with the ever-incredible Professor Joan Hawkins (author of Cutting Edge: Art-Horror and the Horrific Avant-Garde (2000)). as i did in college, i procastinated, only read half the book, and aced the quiz we had over it. i tried to check-out this book again from the library, but every time it had a waiting list that had like 20 people in it's queue. unforunate because the art in this book was some of the best i've ever seen for a graphic novel and, what i read, was a fantastic, landmark book. will read someday. sorry professor.]